Wonderland Went Woe Is Me: Lobster Quadrilles: An Experiment

Jade Werner: English; Undergraduate
Krista Walton: International Relations; Undergraduate

2005

Performance & Narrative
 

Click to view narrative.

I  Introduction to the Lobster Quadrille

 1.  What is the Lobster Quadrille?

First, a lobster is a hard-shelled edible marine crustacean that has a pair of large pincers, five pairs of limbs, eyes on stalks, and long antennae, belonging to the Family Homaridae, which probably means “possessing horns.” A lobster furthermore has “spikes”, as Krista Walton and myself discover over the course of our experiment. Second, a quadrille is a French square dance that was popular in the 18th and 19th centuries, danced by four or more couples together.

The Lobster Quadrille referred to in Alice in Wonderland first appears in Chapter X, titled The Lobster-Quadrille. The first figure of this quadrille is described to Alice by the Mock Turtle and Gryphon. We can only assume that there is more, so much more to this dance that simply would not fit in this story, probably because of time constraints.  Perhaps Mr. Carroll was called to dinner right after writing the first figure of the quadrille, ate a hearty meal and, suffering from food amnesia, could not (would not) remember the subsequent figures of this charming dance.

No matter. There's more than enough to work with here.

 2.  Why Should a Person Attempt to Recreate a Lobster Quadrille (When Clearly in the Book it States that Seals, Turtles, Salmon and So On are the Participants of This Dance and We Ourselves are None of These)?

It is our belief that Alice throughout the course of her adventures never truly seizes the joys of Wonderland.  On the contrary, she is often seen attempting to impose order and hierarchy over the lovely anarchy that is Wonderland. She is a small adult in a world where all are children, children who are engaged in delightful games of imagination and creativity. In fact (as so many adults are) she is often alarmed or cross at the nonsensical games her Wonderland companions engage in. After having seen a part of the Lobster Quadrille she feels “very glad that it was over at last.”

We personally love Alice as she is for as a child attempting to maintain a voice of sense, she reveals how full of nonsense our adult-style trappings can be__that is, isn't the attempt to maintain order really just as silly as not maintaining order at all? However, we can't  help but wonder if perhaps she had been a tad more adventurous, slightly less implacable, wouldn't she want to experience some of the games laid in front of her?

We know that if we were Alice we certainly would want to participate in a Lobster Quadrille. But of course this is speculation for perhaps the quadrille is not so delightful in practice as it is described.

We decided to pursue the following experiment: if we were indeed an Alice, but perhaps a bit more of a daring Alice, how would it be to do the Lobster Quadrille with the obvious constraint of being human? Does Alice make a wise choice in not participating in a Lobster Quadrille, or maybe, just maybe, is she missing out on a key bit of fun?

Also, for us, the experimenter, it just seems plain fun to throw a lobster out to sea and then bring it back in, regardless of it being related to Alice.[1]

[1] Why is it that I keep referring to myself in plural, when clearly I am the only one interested in doing this quadrille?  Because it makes me feel better about myself and also because I think it lends some scientific weight to this paper.  You're  not as ready to argue against a "we" as you are against an "1." No one wants to battle an army, but it's child's play to take on a lone, 5'2 girl.  I can be very insecure when alone, just as I'm sure Alice is at times.

3.  What Were Some of Our Constraints?

Our main constraint was the lack of willing participants. I can only assume that there is a secret abhorrence for lobsters amongst the majority of my friends of which I was previously unaware. There is a possibility that I did not feel the full effects of a proper quadrille, or that I may not have actually done a quadrille at all because of this lack of personage. I shall factor this into my margin of error.

Second, we worked on a self-imposed time constraint, in which all planning for the lobster quadrille, from conception to execution to resolution all took place within about say five hours. I call this time constraint self-imposed for two reasons: first, we thought to ourselves, how would Alice have prepared for this quadrille? We concluded, why, she would barely have had time to prepare at all, what with the whirlwind pace at which she was traveling through Wonderland.  Is it fair that we should prepare far in advance when Alice almost certainly would not (could not) prepare at all? Of course not. That would take us farther from understanding Alice and her place in Wonderland. Of course though we must allow ourselves extra hours to gather together elements that Alice would have already had in front of her, i.e. lobsters, ocean, and dancing partners. We only failed in gathering the dancing partners. Yet, we still feel that our wise decision to subject ourselves to this utter lack of forethought and preparation should be factored in our margin of rectitude. Second, we didn't know we were going to do this until March 30th, two days before due date of said Alice in Wonderland contest.

Third, we could not place ourselves in Wonderland. I believe Santa Monica Beach to be a fitting, as well as convenient, replacement.

Fourth, we did not in any sense actually “swim” in the water, as specified in the quadrille. In April the Pacific Ocean is still chilly and I myself was not sure that I wanted to submerge myself in its waters. Yet, I was ready to do whatever it took to fully recreate the experience of the Lobster Quadrille. But a thought struck me! Would Alice swim? The answer would almost certainly be “Not if she didn't have to”(see for evidence). In addition, there is no way that she could throw a lobster that far out to sea. Realistically, Alice would have waded rather than swam. Therefore, because I am dedicated to recreating the quadrille and not because I am afraid of cold water (which I am, but is irrelevant), I decided not to swim after the lobster.

[Please watch Movie 1 to see an Introduction of Myself]

Meet Gelson and Krista Walton

 1.  Gelson

Gelson is (now was) the name of my lobster. I bought him dead and cooked, at $14.99 a pound from Gelson's Supermarket. He weighed only slightly over a pound and came on a Styrofoam plate with saran wrap over him. When I first met him, he was clutching lettuce. He didn't smell at first, but by the time it came to dance with him he was unbelievably stinky. Seafood rots fast I would say. Alice is most lucky that she would have had a live lobster (probably) for her partner.

2.  Krista Walton

I drove Krista Walton to the airport one time at about five in the morning so she kind of owes me. Yet I think that even if I hadn't  driven her to the airport, she would have come out and filmed this adventure anyway, because that’s the kind of person she is. She's mildly allergic to shellfish (though not afraid of
Gelson) and she comes from Maui. On our way to Santa Monica, she recites the song of the Lobster Quadrille so that we can all get in the mood for and place in context what we are about to do. I asked Krista for some reflections on our experiences. Here's what she had to say:

Perhaps the first thing I should mention is that I am not very familiar with Victorian literature and have never read Alice in Wonderland, so of course I am not familiar with the lobster Quadrille. In fact, I must admit that for quite awhile I thought Jade was saying "Lobster Claw Drill," and in my head I pictured a military drill of sorts, with participants holding lobster claws. While this would have been very entertaining, I think a quadrille is much more sophisticated, and as you will see in the video, has been very tastefully executed.

When Jade mentioned the project to me, I decided to participate because, coming from Hawaii, I feel that creatures of the sea aren't often appreciated as more than a delicious meal, and performing a quadrille with one would be a lovely gesture. I was further sold on the idea when Jade told me I would get to recite a poem on camera, because I have always enjoyed reading out loud.

When I first met Gelson, I thought he was very red, and, since red is my favorite color, I found him to be very visually appealing. Throughout the experience, I remarked on how “pretty” Gelson was, but was not sad to see him go, since he certainly did not smell pretty. After seeing the performance, I thought to myself “How bizarre!" and then had the mini revelation that Alice must have been thinking something similar as she traveled through Wonderland.

[Please watch Movie 2 to Meet Gelson]

[Please watch Movie 3 to Meet Krista]

III  The Lobster Quadrille

1.   Arrival

We arrived at Santa Monica Beach at about 1:57 pm. The sun was out, so one would think it would be a fine day to wear a bikini.  One would think, but one would be wrong.  In fact, the weather was quite breezy and I felt a chill.  Still I knew this would not (could not) stop me from what I had set out to do. The lobster smelled awful. Krista and I hurriedly made our way to the water. We tried to find a secluded spot, away from other people not because dancing with a lobster is embarrassing but rather because Alice would not have seen any other humans while she was doing the Lobster Quadrille. Really, our dedication to reproducing Alice's experiences was total and absolute.

2.  The Lobster Emerges

I unwrapped the lobster. Unaware that he had spikes, I handled him carelessly and hurt myself.

[Please watch Movie 4 to See the Lobster Emerge]

3.  The Quadrille

The Mock Turtle and the Gryphon describe the Lobster Quadrille as follows:

"You first form into a line along the sea-shore__"

'Two lines!" cried the Mock Turtle. "Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on: then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way-"[...]

"__you advance twice__"

"Each with a lobster as a partner!" cried the Gryphon.

"Of course," The Mock Turtle said: "advance twice, set to partners__" 

"__change lobsters, and retire in same order'' continued the Gryphon.

'Then, you know," the Mock Turtle went on, “you throw the__"

'The lobsters!" shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. 

"__as far out to sea as you can__"

"Swim after them!" screamed the Gryphon.

“Tun a somersault in the sea!" cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly about. 

"Change lobster again!" yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.

"Back to land again, and--that's all the first figure,"

Now here are some obvious problems that we ran into in trying to reproduce the Quadrille. Having only one lobster and one participant, all references to "set to partners" and "change lobsters" was obviously impossible. Seals, turtles and salmon were likewise hard to gather, let alone place in two lines (though if we had gathered more people to do this dance with us, doubtless we would have made them dress up as the animals they were meant to represent). Also, I cannot somersault in water. It causes water to go up my nose and causes me to choke.

With these restrictions, our abilities left us able to do the following bits of the Quadrille: 1. Advance twice, 2. Retire, 3. Throw lobster out to sea as far as possible, and 4. Back to land again, lobster in hand. Because I wanted to do something between advancing twice and retiring, I added my own flair by substituting "set to partners" and "change lobster" with "circle with lobster in meaningful way." Therefore, the final Lobster Quadrille, as performed by Jade Werner as would be performed by Alice, consists of:

1. Advance Twice

2. Circle in Meaningful Way

3. Retire (assumedly twice)

4. Throw Lobster to Sea

5. Wade after Lobster (please remember earlier restriction as outlined in Introduction)

6. Return to Land with Lobster in hand

It was really quite a beautiful experience, with my green Alice bow (green being the only color I could find to make an Alice bow with) sharply contrasting against the red lobster with the blue sea as our backdrop. To fully experience the Lobster Quadrille:

[Please watch Movie 5 to See the Lobster Quadrille]

 4.  We Say Good-bye to Gelson

Gelson needed a rest. It was time to say good-bye.

[Please watch Movie 6 to Say Good-Bye to Gelson]

IV  Conclusions

After these exhilarating, memorable, just purely awesome four hours, I find myself feeling a bit empty inside. What does my life mean? Am I doomed to this everyday drudgery called life? Everything seems so routine now; life is greyer, so much greyer and more mundane than I ever realized it was.

What do I do with myself anyway? Eat some food. Sleep a bit. Go to college. Work with little children at a local theatre. Spend some time with my boyfriend of two years. Party a lot.  Write some stories. Call my little sister and talk to her for hours on the phone. Hike and take in the wonder that is nature. Travel to foreign countries, like the Netherlands and Japan. Smell the roses. You know. Routine. Whatever. I could take it or leave it all now.

You see, I had a brush with Wonderland. For a while, right there, we weren't on Santa Monica Beach, we weren't Krista and Jade, and there wasn't a lifeguard nervously watching us the entire time. We were Wonderland, Alice, and Quadrille. For a little while, I liked Gelson and he was more than just a lobster, darn it, he was the best darn dancing partner I had ever had. Could I, would I go back there to Wonderland.

I'll be honest I don't know how Alice survives. I guess by chalking it up to a "curious dream." However, if I had a dream like that I sure wouldn't want to wake up! (That sounded far more morbid than I meant it to sound).

Therefore, scientifically speaking, I must make the following conclusion:  because I, posing as Alice, find my life curiously empty once having performed the Lobster Quadrille in “Wonderland” as it were, and because Alice, having never performed above-said Quadrille and not finding life likewise empty after departure from Wonderland, thusly, above-said Quadrille is what marks difference between dejection and indifference about Wonderland once leaving Wonderland.

Had Alice performed the Lobster Quadrille, almost certainly she would have felt solitude, a desperate loneliness and a cold indifference resonating in the "real" world. Thank goodness then that she did not, or else we would have had a much different Alice story.  And thank goodness for Krista Walton and myself that we did not experience the full potency of the Lobster Quadrille for then certainly we would both feel compelled to uproot our lives and search for “meaning” from here on out.

As it is, we'll probably forget that we ever did this, in, oh, about a week from now, when I have a paper due.

Thank you so much for your attention.  We (I) have appreciated it greatly.